All I have to do is finish.

So here I am frantically rushing to bed early on a Saturday night because I’m running my 3 and a half hour long scheduled run tomorrow and I’m thinking, “All I have to do is finish”.

I’m training for another 50K and I’m actually scared of  the length of time I have to run tomorrow. I’m usually really excited about long training runs and love the challenge!

All I have to do is finish.

These words  keep repeating in my head …

“All I have to do is finish.”

I’m not sure why I’m so nervous.

I’ve run 3 and a half hours before. This is part of the training I’ve done many times in the past and I’m used to it.

I have a hunch, though. I pushed too much training on myself this week too soon. 

Feeling tired.

I kind of played around with the training and made it harder …

Here’s the run down.

– The first day of the week was an easy 1-hour run.
– 2nd day was an easy 1 hour 15 minutes.
– 3rd day was an easy 1 hour 15 minutes in the morning and a faster hour and 15 minutes in the afternoon.
– the 4th day was the same, an hour and 15 minutes in the morning and afternoon, but a smidgen faster for both runs.

So now that all the weekday runs are done, I feel tired.

Too tired to run and worried I won’t be able to recuperate for Sunday.

To make it worse…

All I Have To Do Is Finish – Today I’m having my rest day and I can’t sit still! 

The Words “All I have to do is finish.” are unstoppable in my head.

I guess it is the side effect of doing a lot of running, feeling over-tired and having anxiety about tomorrow.

So I couldn’t make myself rest and spent the whole day busy.

  • Scooping wet heavy leaves off the pool cover.
  • Loading wood into basement and stacking.
  • Then working until dark to clear the trail by only using a saw… A saw I found in scrap. (That is another story for another time.)

I’m nervous and feeling like I may not be able to do the run tomorrow.
It’s worse than I remember training for my previous 50 K’s.All I have to do is finish

But really, all I have to do is finish and not worry about anything else.
Not even how fast I will go…

I can go at a snail’s pace for all I care.
I really don’t care.

Or do I?

OK, I think I really do care…

All I have to do is finish – 2 weeks ago, I enjoyed 2 and a half hours of running, it’s ONLY 1 more HOUR!

Only is a lonely word that does not explain what 60 minutes translates to.
3600 seconds.  That is 12600 seconds total.

It might actually be my age I’m worried about.

Am I scared of being one year older?
Am I scared I may die?
No, not really die, but feel awfully sick throughout my run and then feel like I’m going to die…

Maybe I won’t be able to finish!

I’m all about finishing.
I don’t like to leave things half done.
So I guess this is it, this is my struggle.
Now I know my struggle is the pressure I added to my training,  I’m worried about my age and I feel my own pressure in my mind to finish.

What I learned and the benefit of knowing this now…

I don’t have to do it fast!

I can go slow, I can walk, crawl and I can even take a few pictures and listen to some music.

I don’t have to be too serious.

I can make it into a play experience, instead of a working one.
Because really I can get there, I’ve trained for it thus far.

Next time.

  • I will not change a training schedule and make it harder. Training schedules are made for the very reason of  going through steps gradually when you train to prevent injury and/or burn-out

I hadn’t realized I wasn’t really ready for the changes I made with the schedule. I got a bit complacent and just thought I’d step things up a bit faster. It might even be a mistake and affect me down the line….

I can do this in any fashion I want because “All I have to do is finish”. I know I can now.

  • I changed my mindset and had it coincide with the verse in my head.

Thinking now … I positively know I can do this. I can run tomorrow any way I like because all I have to do is finish …”I got this!

Back to top: “All I got to do is finish.”

Please leave a comment in the section below and let me know what you do when your mind takes over.